Miscellaneous memos

An old friend has been offered a position in a rural township in Queensland and she is moving there for the period of her contract. She is hoping that she can stay on after it is all over. And knowing how she makes her living in healthcare, I have no doubts about her ability to find work in some major city after that.

Its been a long while since I last saw her. The only other time being just after I came back from Australia. We took pictures together and I could not possibly believe that that was me then.

She slipped the photographs to me over the table and remarked, ‘You have lost so much weight since then. Singapore is not treating you right and is stressing you out. You have to come with me to Australia and put some meat back on you.’

Of course, I made my usual protestations. I eat well here, too well in fact because I have all this incredible hawker food within reach. I am huge in contrast to all the stick thin girls here. I am not entirely stressed out yet and I need to work here for sufficient experience, particularly in my line, before I can try to get a job elsewhere.

She listened, just like she always does. Then she said,

‘Well, if there was nothing holding you back, meaning you can find a job just as easily, you would leave, wouldn’t you?’

I nodded.

‘Where?’

To which I told her about my insane hopes and dreams. She didn’t laugh, nor did she comment. She merely said,

‘Well, then I hope you do it. You will be the first, but I hope you do. Because this place just sucks your soul.’

And she told me all about her own hopes and dreams.

Funny, the only common ground I could find was that we had to leave in order to fulfill them.

Actually my earlier entry on the National Day fireworks was not very savoury.

However, after watching the Singapore Fireworks Festival this evening, I could not have enjoyed myself more.

There was something almost wild and abundantly exciting about watching those fleeting display of patterns over the concrete Singapore city skyline.

It fueled a sense of ecstasy which I probably have not experienced before, and no, I am not comparing it to Aussie day fireworks again, because during all those times there was a potential love interest or boyfriend in the picture that added other dimensions of feelings.

No, it was this collective wonder at how wonderful these little bursts of light and colour could create art in the heavens.

And, yes, I am feeling very poetic tonight.

It must be the wine, and watching V for Vendetta, another show where fireworks have a huge significance in changing the skyline and history of a major city.

Another little brief event that lifts the veil of melancholy that has been plaguing me recently.

I think it is possible to talk like that after severe exhaustion as well.

Need I say more?

I was diagnosed with gastric flu yesterday and was told to give it a rest at home and not go to work and pass it to everyone else. (I did not know that its was contagious.)

Anyway, I shrugged out of my work clothes, fired up the aromatherapy oils, put on the Keane CD and hopped into bed. I had a good rest, but honestly still feel like shit.

I keep wondering when the bug would go away.

I promised Joe that I would take him to the Superman opening night, but I don’t think I have the strength to go. I keep wondering if the PR peeps would let him take my place, but I highly doubt it.

I hate wasting away from disease and the lethargy is getting to me. The worst thing is not being able to do anything about it because I can’t take my early morning jogs like I normally would. And my mom refuses to wake me up, which she usually does for me, to go for my jogs!

I really need to get my alarm clock fixed and a new mom. (Just kidding on the last bit.)

Ok, I am off to pop my pills and hopefully my strength returns so that I can go and watch the movie for a change.

I made the most amazing discovery in my mundane life, this morning.

The album Hot Fuss by the Killers actually makes good jogging music. I never felt more motivated to jog then when listening to the drum beat in the background.

Oh, and I nipped Newsweek from the newsroom today, because their main article was on the new jet set; how being wealthy equated to being well-travelled.

Don’t you just love how capitalism is mistaken for globalisation?

The polling date for elections will held on the 6th of May.

After ironing out all the regulations regarding electoral boundaries, overseas balloting and what not, they have finally dissolved Parliament for the last time to call for elections.

And I am like, ‘Finally!’

The only thing is to see whether I will get to vote or not.

Joe and I are huge Anthony Bourdain fans.

So when the episode that aired just now showed him staying with a native tribe of East Malaysia, I could finally hop up and down and proclaim the ‘whole been there, done that’ dance.

But seriously, Bourdain has this mantra about doing as the locals do. Finally took it to heart. Had dinner at an absolutely no frills place (euphemism for hawker center) and ate the most orgasmic chee cheong fun ever. It was good stuff. We even went back for seconds and the guy at the stall even had a turn at poking fun at our gluttony.

If you think about it, Singapore might have issues on so many different levels, but the one thing I can’t complain about, is the food.

Taking time off from the grind and meeting up with an old friend for a dinner of cheap pasta, garlic bread and bubbly soft drinks, is just too good for words to articulate.

We talked for three hours straight without a break. It was amazing. It was also a stress-relief. I really needed that and the hugs that came at the end.

Sometimes, it is not all about the food or environment. It is all about the company.

NB: By the way, do I have this intense way of staring into people’s eyes when I talk to them? Just out of curiosity, because I have never noticed that I did that.

I have resisted talking about my trip to Perth, because it inevitably brings up the thorny issue of my break up with the bloke.

To be honest, I asked for it. The colossal mistake which he made, was in my view, absolutely unforgivable. In my books, I place it up there with cheating, as in the whole ‘hooking up with someone else’ type of cheating. That’s not to say that he did exactly that, by the way. I only likened it to that, because I used to think that that was the point of no return in a relationship, should that occur.

But then, when I asked for the break-up, he felt that it should not have been a reason.

However, I do feel that it is a very legitimate reason for why I should set aside this three year relationship.

If this comes across as cold, then I am really sorry. Please do note that I am not entirely unaffected by all of this.

In the end, I can’t change the way things happen and feeling helpless and dwelling on it is never conducive.

I guess I will move on. Someday.